denver/the fourth, hell at the airport, the aftermath and the sunburn from hell well. hello, reader! let me tell you about the past two weekends. the wife and i went to denver, co for the fourth of july weekend in what was a sort-of "family reunion/birthday party" on her side but more of a "weekend away" for us. mandy had been going to denver at least annually, until she met me. we shacked up with mandy's "god-damn-aunt", anne. i know mandy will be seeing her again in august. anyway... "the girls" surprised me with a tour to the New Belgium Brewery in Fort Collins, (as always, clicky) as well as our planned stop to the Coors Brewery, in Golden. both were awesome -- nothing i really didn't already know, but it was enjoyable anyways. (the NBBrewery is completely "green" as the kids call it today. sun lamps, recycled water to cool the kettles. almost makes a guy rethink his stance on hippies. almost.) i was struck at how little there was to buy ("swag") at the "Fat-Tire" brewery. there were a lot of little knick-knacks. i bought a poster to hang in my rec-room. mandy bought a bell for her bike, which, i might add, she thought was broken, as it only made a "kddtttttt-kdddttttttt" sound. it took her brilliant and handsome (and incredibly modest) husband to point out that you have to take your fingers off of the actual bell to hear it ring. the Coors Brewery was a different story, as we could have, but didn't, max out every credit card we have on swag. the Coors tour was good, in my opinion. they gave us these cool cell-phone like things that spoke the tour for us. you could go as fast or as slow as you wanted to. mandy and anne thought that it took away from the... what's the word... uhm... "personability?" if that makes any sense, of the tour. in other words, there was no one there to herd you around like cattle. but that's what i liked about it. oh! and the free beer at both places. i might have found a better beer than Fat Tire, in my humble opinion. those damn hippies. that's how they reel you in. they make good beer, and help the environment... next thing you know you're marching for animal rights and voting for Nader. there was a bunch of other stuff in colorado, but to save time, i'll sum up. 1) Packers Bar across from Coors Field. 2) dropped a bunch of cash at mandy's bookstore. 3) anne paid for waaaaaay too many bar tabs. (thanks, dear.) 4) those aren't storm clouds, those are mountains. 5) that's no moon... it's a space station! (disregard that last one.) by the way... i've always been a tennis fan. (mostly to search for "future ex-wives") but how good was that Nadal/Federer match at the Wimbledon final? both competitors put on an amazing show. to call something "the greatest *whatever* ever" is ofter overused and abused ad nauseum. that said, that was the greatest tennis match i've ever seen. the flight home... ***sigh*** was an hour and a half late. no big deal - these things happen. by the time we got on the plane, we were pretty sure we were going to miss our connecting flight from minneapolis to appleton. no big deal - these things happen. so we got stuck overnight in minneapolis. no big deal - these things happen. what was a big deal was that northwest airlines made us pay for our own hotel room. so it was their plane that was late, and the "discount" northwest offered on the hotel room was 5$ off of the normal rate. we were told by the lady... yeah... i'll call her "old"... the "old lady" at the northwest desk we passed as we got off of the plane that our choices were to take the hotel room, or sleep in the airport. oh! and we had no access to our luggage as all the "Luggage Homies" had gone home for the night. yeah. north-worst. (i know, not original, but still applies.) so when i see a news story like this in the headlines... i quietly cackle to myself in hopes that rotten people will lose their jobs. bwahahahahahahahahahahaaaaa! but we got home safe and sound, which i suppose is the main thing. still... the "Maixner" in me said that i should get something for this grevious inconvenience (which is a very inconvenient word to spell. irony?). so i called the Northwest Airline Customer Care line that my friend, and former NWA employee, Nate gave to me. after not being able to get thru, "due to their high-volume of calls"... which should tell you something... finally i spoke to a very nice lady about getting me something out of this. eventually, the best they could do was offer me and the wife two 75$ coupons off of our next flight... which both have to be used within a year. and everyone knows how often we fly. bottom line... we got hosed. so after a quick week of back-to-work lifestyle, lo and behold, it's the weekend again. i get roped into joining the sunday softball team (that i kinda didn't want to be on)... but first is a wonderful trip, tubing down the Wolf River. yay! how much fun could that be? well, when you have to work a few hours after the tubing trip... you really can't enjoy it as much... ...and when your legs melt from just above the knees down to your ankles? well, that just adds to the fun! indeed, kids. i am fighting the annual Maixner Sunburn from Hell 2008. i learned from the Great Sunburn of '94-(ish) that afflicted my Pa... that rags of vinegar applied directly to the sunburn would soothe the pain just a little bit. i've added to that recipe. the rags of vinegar are just fine, as we need to keep our nation's vinegar industry strong. however, i've found that some refridgerated aloe lotion (used with a few "sleepy-time pain meds" washed down with a 12-pack of whatever-you-please) only helps relieve the suffering. ask any nurse. Vonnie, Grandma, i defy you both to find a better way ease the pain. (read as: score me some morphine, please.) also works with bad high-school breakups. and that, kids... is that. you are fully up to date on my life. i wish you well, and hope to hear... nay, see you soon. gotta learn to polka within two weeks. eric | 
